Soapbox… “#blessed”

I hate social media. There I said it. The problem is, when I was a smoker I hated cigarettes… something kept me coming back for more. That little nagging sensation that makes me certain I am missing out on something. So as many times as I remove Facebook from my phone… within days, hours it is back.  It causes me such irritation, such anger…. some pleasure yes, I do genuinely love funny animals and Randy Rainbow. But oh the rest of it *sigh*.

The following is a list of my top 5 hates on Facebook (no particular order).

5. Politics:  Now I am a firm solid believer that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I am also aware that sometimes, no many times, people become so emotive and so involved in political issues that they want to share these views with others. Without getting into what my political views are I can honestly say, I wish with all of my heart and soul that people would resist the temptation. (Or at the very least fact check what they are preparing to share). I loathe the posts, the comments, the online arguments…. and yet I get sucked in! It’s like the damn Marlboro… one more won’t hurt!

4. Weirdly inappropriate posts: What I mean by this can be easily illustrated by giving an example I have encountered. Scrolling through my Facebook and seeing that a co-worker has a foot fetish…. ewwww; seeing my teenage nephews new profile picture, gang sign while smoking a joint; sister-in-law reposting a “best sex positions” article; another relative posting images of mostly nude heavy-set women with phrases like ‘no one wants a twig bitch to f***’…. I think I can stop there. Of course there are always the backhandedly racist posts that pop up literally every day; #blackgirlsruletheworld, #buildthatwall, #christianrulesmuslimsburn….. all real hashtags that I have rolled my eyes at, from people who I actually know. Like real world know. My theory on this is, if you wouldn’t have a face to face conversation with these topics with my 14-year-old daughter then you shouldn’t share them with the world. It’s just uncouth. I am by no means a prude, but come on!

3. My kids are better than your kids. Now all parents want to show off their children’s achievements, there is nothing wrong with that at all. I do it all the time. Whether it is a picture of my daughters theater performances or cheerleading photos or my son’s orchestra performances, or my eldest in his prom tux… I am proud of them. There is a very distinct difference between normal, rational pride in their accomplishments and the parents who brag that their two-year old just picked up a Tom Clancy novel and then gave a verbal explanation of the plot twists therein! Ok, that is extreme, but not by much. “My sweet (fill in the blank) just read all of Genesis to his baby sister, he is 3 and already loves God more than most”… (true example). First of all, NO ONE… and I mean NO ONE believes that your 3-year-old read the Bible… why? Because it is bullshit! People know that you are lying… why do you keep doing it? Do you honestly believe that the people on your friends list are this stupid?? Girl,…. shut up! I have met your 3 year old, he had his hand in his pants twiddling his junk with a stream of drool and snot running down his face because of the enormous hissy fit he just threw.  Is he cute, of course. Is he likeable, probably. Is he a prodigy…….. um, not likely.

2. Pouty pucker face boob pictures. I hate these in all forms. I hate them because it gives young girls the idea that this is what creates their value, I hate them because there seems to be no age limit, I hate them because… well its just stupid. All seem to be head tilted slightly to the left, camera above, tits mostly exposed, far too much makeup (even if its meant to be ‘natural’) and some stupid tag line….”feeling the natural look today” or “great day at the gym”.  Ladies, girls… Please for the love of God… value yourself for more than your cleavage. You are worth so much more than your perfectly highlighted cheekbones. Like it or not, external beauty is transient. It can vanish in an instant. Be more than all of this superficial crap, kindness is so much easier to respect.

1. Religion, #Blessed and all variations. “God will bless you if you forward this message” (no he/she won’t); “I’m not ashamed to post this on my wall (insert photo of cross, virgin mary, Jesus etc.) Are you?” (yes, unless it is of an interesting artistic/historical value); and worst of all VIDEO CLIPS OF CHURCH CHOIRS SINGING!!! C’mon people, can we just not do that?

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